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Garden of Light by ~Impi-child:iconImpi-child:

Categories Traditional Art > Mixed Media

©2006-2010 ~Impi-child
:iconimpi-child:

Artist's Comments

EDIT: Yay, photographic betterness + a few improvements...any more suggestions people?

-----

When the sun touches the earthe
many beginnings past
a garden will grow of light
and the earthe will shift
all knowledge flowing from it like a torrent
until only sun, ocean and the wisest trees remain
the ones that have seen all knowledge
and let it pass by on the breeze

The first of about twenty works that I will create over the next eleven or so weeks for an exhibition in Visby. My theme is, as yet, undetermined, but I will create works mainly in this style of symbolic landscape over- and under-layed with text. I will post each one as it is created and each time I will ask for critique. This exhibition, being my first, is not something that I want to screw up too badly so if you see something that makes you go "eew", tell me about it (preferably in a constructive manner - "that looks like crap" may be perfectly true, but it is not helpful so I would ask that you refrain from saying so).

Info about this piece:
Title: "Garden of Light"
Dimensions: 35 x 27 cm
Media: water colour pencils, wrapping paper, tissue paper, charcoal, black ballpoint pen and gloss varnish
Blurb: poem (above) written in english and swedish

Help I need with this piece:
composition - especially the balance between light and dark
possibly a better title

It's worth mentioning that this photo does approximately 0 justice to the original piece because I'm terrible at working with dodgy lighting. If you try to tell me that the colours are not nice, I will ignore you because I can assure you that the colours are quite beautiful in the original. Plus the glare in the middle is a bummer but it's the best I could do.

Thanks in advance for your advice and sorry for making you read all that.

Comments


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:iconthevoiceofheart:
~thevoiceofheart Apr 13, 2006, 5:22:47 AM
lovely drawing , very effective and moody :)

--
DON'T CLICK THIS - [link] ********** OR ELSE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:iconpoisonedrose:
`poisonedrose Apr 13, 2006, 5:28:43 AM
I quite like what you've done so far (and don't worry about the photograph itself, it's so hard to take them without glare), I think the colours are lovely and the text looks really good. One idea would be to use different colours for a few of the words, just to highlight a few that would be of some significance. I do feel that the middle-right area needs a little work - perhaps layering colours would make it live up to the rest of the painting? Otherwise I think this is brilliant, it really caught my eye.

--
-- J :butterfly:

:bulletblack:#Writers-Workshop:bulletblack:
:iconle-noirchat:
~le-noirchat Apr 13, 2006, 6:27:30 AM
thumbs up :)

--
Dy-No-My-Te
:iconimpi-child:
~Impi-child Apr 13, 2006, 7:36:45 AM
Thanks very much for the comments. They have sparked a much needed 'yay, improvement time' feeling in me. Thanks for the fave and watch also, they are also much appreciated :)

--
~ : Impi : ~
Rise to vote, sir
Do geese see God?
"Do nine men interpret?" "Nine men," I nod
God! A red nugget! A fat egg under a dog!
Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog
-Bob, Weird Al
~RAoK <---nice people
:iconpoisonedrose:
`poisonedrose Apr 13, 2006, 12:28:20 PM
You're very welcome. I'm just glad I could help :)

--
-- J :butterfly:

:bulletblack:#Writers-Workshop:bulletblack:
:iconalicefall3:
~alicefall3 Apr 14, 2006, 10:58:34 PM
Hum.
In critique mode:
this is probably the photograph but - maybe you need to make your white areas whiter and the darker areas more defined?

I think (on shaky ground here) that the fact that you've got that area of text in the middle left (under the circle, to the left of the tree - not the bit that continues from the bottom 'waves'; the section above) and large white areas opposite it unbalances the picture (by making a vertical division where the rest is horizontal). You take that text out, or do a mirroring area of text on the other side (it wouldn't have to be very big - just enough to make a border)... for example - see the area between where the roots and branches of the right-hand tree meet the edge? If you filled that with text, or made it dark, the balance might work better.

Gah. I don't know. I guess it's because I don't know what you're trying to do with it. There are several things that could be done, but they all take the piece in different directions, if you know what I mean. I keep seeing these bits that I really like - that would be really cool if 'cropped' and set up on their own ^^ I like the sense of depth that's in the piece - and the 'flow' is lovely.

... hopefully that's 'constructive' >_<

--
~a
:iconimpi-child:
~Impi-child Apr 14, 2006, 11:27:45 PM
indeed it is :D thanks

--
~ : Impi : ~
Rise to vote, sir
Do geese see God?
"Do nine men interpret?" "Nine men," I nod
God! A red nugget! A fat egg under a dog!
Go hang a salami, I'm a lasagna hog
-Bob, Weird Al
~RAoK <---nice people
:iconalicefall3:
~alicefall3 Apr 15, 2006, 8:53:33 PM
Hooray for improvements! The bits of colour in the text work really well ^^

--
~a
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April 13, 2006
274 KB
714×567

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Canon
Canon PowerShot A400
1/636 second
F/5.6
6 mm
Apr 15, 2006, 3:03:24 PM

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